And Finally

Bieber and Gomez split

By | Published on Monday 12 November 2012

Justin Bieber

So, have the power couple of teen pop (OK, so Selena’s now 20, whatever) really parted ways? Well, the tabloids and gossip sites seem pretty certain that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are no longer a couple. Perhaps Gomez got herself one of those Bieber sex dolls and realised it was much less likely to try to serenade her.

Anonymous sources seemingly confirmed the split to The Associated Press this weekend, citing “hectic schedules keeping the couple apart” as the main issue. Though People magazine threw “trust issues” into the mix for good measure. Meanwhile gossip columnists, bloggers and fans the world over have been trying to dissect recent social media postings by both pop stars that might have been code for “we’ve split up guys”.

For example, Bieber tweeted “thank u Boston” yesterday, and Boston, of course, is particularly famous for the 1773 ‘Tea Party’ protests that are intrinsically linked to America’s subsequent independence from Britain, meaning that tweet almost certainly was the Biebster saying “I’m now independent from that bitch Selena”. Meanwhile late last month Gomez tweeted “happy Halloween”, a festivity that is, of course, part of Western culture’s take on the Festival Of The Dead, and therefore clearly what Selena really meant was “that bastard Bieber is dead to me”.


GET MORE CMU


SIGN UP TO CMU FOR FREE | GO PREMIUM | LISTEN TO THE CMU PODCAST | GET TRAINED

OR READ MORE ABOUT: |

  • CMU Podcast: Spotify, Bloc, SoundCloud, Martin Shkreli
  • Pandora boss plays down reports his firm is up for sale
  • Blurred Lines lawyer argues against the Gaye family’s claim for legal costs
  • Time Inc buys MySpace (somewhat inadvertently)
  • CMU Beef Of The Week #293: The 1975 v One Direction
  •