Friday 1 March 2013, 12:06 | By

CMU Beef Of The Week #147: Shoe v Styles

And Finally Beef Of The Week

One Direction

One Direction are currently on a tour of the arenas of the UK and Ireland which stretches out to April. With that sort of a commitment, you want to ensure that the group stay free from injury or illness. Sadly for them, their fans exist.

During the Twitter Q&A section (yes, that is a thing that happens at One Direction shows) at Glasgow’s SECC Arena on Tuesday, a shoe was thrown on stage. While Harry Styles was waving it in the air trying to identify its owner, another flew through the air and hit him clean in the balls, causing him to double up and fall sideways. I know we shouldn’t revel in another’s misfortune, but it was pretty funny.

The thrower was later revealed to be teenage 1D fan Jade Anderson from East Kilbride, who identified herself on Twitter, saying: “Tonight I threw my shoe and it hit Harry in the balls. Then security came and took me out the concert. Then I got my shoe back and the only reason the security let me back in is cos Harry told them to”.

She added that law enforcement had also become involved, saying: “The police were telling me that I ‘committed a criminal assault’ and I could’ve killed him”.

Before signing off for the night, she tweeted: “Bet I’ll actually be on the news and front page of the paper for what I done”. Which might seem a bit of a bold statement, but of course she was right. Look, here we are talking about her right now, and over the course of this week she’s appeared in print, online, on TV and on the radio the world over. All because she threw a shoe. Sky News even managed to compare her to the man who threw a shoe at George W Bush in 2008.

As for the front page, she made that in Scotland with the Daily Record. She told the paper: “I just wanted him to touch something belonging to me. I didn’t mean to hit him where I hit him, I’m really embarrassed”.

Of course, we’re generally down on people videoing gigs on their phones, but in cases like this it’s people who do so who help the story to spread far and wide. This particular incident can now be examined from all angles. For example you could see it from the front and close-up; from the front and from a distance; from the front, close-up and slow motion; from the side, quite close-up; from the side, very slightly to the right; from behind; from behind and from a distance; with added Taylor Swift; and via a special screening for Homer Simpson.

Actually, it turns out that Harry Styles’ manhood is often under attack, from both other flying objects and bandmate Liam Payne. It’s alright, he managed to get Liam back, though he failed to spot a retaliatory attack from Louis Tomlinson.

But, anyway, here’s Jade Anderson’s amazingly well (if accidentally) targeted shot one more time:

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